disposal
By Christianna Soumakis
Nov 15, 2025
Nov 15, 2025
after they threw away the post-it notes above your bed
and told me: it was nothing, just post-it notes
and scraps of paper, and pictures cut from magazines
and told me: it was nothing, just post-it notes
and scraps of paper, and pictures cut from magazines
as if to comfort me that nothing of value was lost,
I did not explain otherwise. you were dead
and your nursing home cubicle was scrubbed pink and raw
I did not explain otherwise. you were dead
and your nursing home cubicle was scrubbed pink and raw
and no one cared about the collage I’d spent hours
taping over your bed — pictures of you, hand-written scripture,
paintings reproduced in magazines, gifted rosaries —
taping over your bed — pictures of you, hand-written scripture,
paintings reproduced in magazines, gifted rosaries —
so that when you could no longer introduce yourself
(Hi, I’m Mary; I was an airline stewardess, traveler,
mother, lover, maker of sandwiches with the crust cut off)
(Hi, I’m Mary; I was an airline stewardess, traveler,
mother, lover, maker of sandwiches with the crust cut off)
the people who washed your silent body would find you
webbed in a constellation, a context, a field of stars whose currents
of memory bannered you forth again: re-membered, re-named.
webbed in a constellation, a context, a field of stars whose currents
of memory bannered you forth again: re-membered, re-named.
|
Christianna Soumakis is an artist, writer, art instructor, and pilgrim. She has an MFA in fine art, has walked the Camino de Santiago three times, is a Pushcart Nominee, and researches the intersection of art, faith, and pilgrimage. She lives in New York.
Website/socials:
|
|
Author’s Note:
“disposal” centers the aftermath of the death of my maternal grandmother, and the effort we take to represent and honor those we love when they can no longer advocate for themselves, even if the enterprise seems doomed. The classic “I think, therefore I am” construction breaks down at the end of life and resolves into something more like, “I am, because we are together.”