Highschool, Teacher
By Brandon Shane
April 15, 2024
April 15, 2024
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They come to me, some with smiles,
others raging with clenched fists, parents with alcohol on their breaths. Tattoos on forearms, bruises from fights at home, scuffles behind the bleachers, their wild lives reduced to student. I relive those tumultuous years, welcoming them into class, some of them wear all black, neon, chains around their necks, the jocks yet to change, bookworms with their mobile libraries, and all of them sitting on the same chairs, but living in different worlds. How many lockers are stuffed, scandals unheard until decades gone, administrators taking too much and doing far too little, students who as adults, will talk about their days here like an asylum ran by psychotics, and all the pretty flowers their only respite. I try to be a good orderly, make each of them feel warm, memorizing their names, learning something about their lives, and they all teach me something in return; I give them Moby Dick, and they give me the nostalgic essence of youth, when life was local, and all the problems of planet earth didn't slump me down. Some want to be lawyers, politicians, engineers, a few don't know where they are, nor where they're going; I still feel that way. A girl wishes to be a published author, and I can see she'll get there a lot quicker than me. Many will pursue their dreams and fail, or will be derailed by their parents, friends, the universe. I don't know where they'll be sleeping tonight, only the hallway which I'll welcome them, looking over scaffolding; hoping I did okay. |
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Brandon Shane is a Japanese-American alum of California State University, Long Beach, where he majored in Creative Writing. He's pursuing an MFA while working as a writing instructor and substitute teacher. You can see his work in the Berlin Literary Review, Acropolis Journal, Grim & Gilded, Livina Press, Messy Misfits, Remington Review, Mister Magazine, Discretionary Love, among many others. Find him on Twitter @Ruishanewrites.
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Author's Note:
This poem came from an overwhelming rush of stress, pessimism, optimism, knowing my students will go through the same tribulations that I did. I was a teenager like everyone else, and so little of my life had to do with school, yet every expectation was to pretend that I lived there 24/7.
My favorite lines:
Tattoos
on forearms, bruises from fights at home,
scuffles behind the bleachers, their wild
lives reduced to student.
I remember being a bad student, and there were scandals every hour, but they were never reported. I had a teacher who picked up their phone and immediately began to sob, but still managed to teach the rest of the day. There's so much happening at one school, within the administration, teachers, kids, and within all those, are tight-knit circles with their own controversies. I had such big dreams as a senior, but didn't know how brutal the world would be; the early death of my father, sudden medical bills, soulmates succeeded by heartbreaks, a nearly insurmountable amount of college debt, and attending the funerals of close friends who I thought would live forever. I know every single one of my students will experience a number of these things, some of them will face much worse; many have already lived it.
My favorite lines:
Tattoos
on forearms, bruises from fights at home,
scuffles behind the bleachers, their wild
lives reduced to student.
I remember being a bad student, and there were scandals every hour, but they were never reported. I had a teacher who picked up their phone and immediately began to sob, but still managed to teach the rest of the day. There's so much happening at one school, within the administration, teachers, kids, and within all those, are tight-knit circles with their own controversies. I had such big dreams as a senior, but didn't know how brutal the world would be; the early death of my father, sudden medical bills, soulmates succeeded by heartbreaks, a nearly insurmountable amount of college debt, and attending the funerals of close friends who I thought would live forever. I know every single one of my students will experience a number of these things, some of them will face much worse; many have already lived it.